


Cart Before The Horse

by MathiasKejseren



Category: Fantastic Four, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, She-Hulk, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk (Comics)
Genre: Bear with me here there will be an explanation probably, F/M, Graphic Description, I didn't know I was pregnant, M/M, Mpreg, Weddings, christian wedding, graphic birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25383475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MathiasKejseren/pseuds/MathiasKejseren
Summary: “That is if the belly he’s got going on isn’t a baby!” Ben boomed.“Ha Ha. Very funny Ben. You know that joke gets old after the 50th time you say it.” Johnny answered for Peter, seeing how bright red he had gotten at involving his recent weight gain into the conversation.“Alright, alright. Cheap shot” He said setting Valeria down, followed by Sue and Reed stumbling in.Valeria meanwhile did what she had been doing every time she saw Peter for the past several weeks; immediately begged to play Pokey.  Peter had to gently pry her digits off his leg after drying his hands. “No Honey, My stomach is not feeling very well at the moment. Maybe another time?” He said, patting his abdomen for emphasis.Valeria stomped her foot, “But there’s not going to be more time!”
Relationships: John Jameson/Jennifer Walters, Peter Parker/Johnny Storm, Reed Richards/Susan Storm (Fantastic Four)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	1. Part 1

Trim fingernails ran scanned across purple marks. Crawling upward, they traced along the curve of the taut skin. Early morning sunlight bounced off the mirror illuminating Peter as he studied his figure. He grimaced as he turned to the side studying the changes of his silhouette, the prominent curve of his stomach catching the most attention. Gentle arms wound around him as a chin nuzzled into Peter’s shoulder. Peter leaned into the embrace relishing the cozy feeling of his partner’s warm skin.

“Hey,” Johnny spoke softly, still rough from sleep, “What are you doing up so early?”

Peter shrugged, “couldn’t sleep,” he said, pulling Johnny arms closer. “Nervous.”

Johnny pressed him tighter against his chest, watching the sun rise over Peter’s shoulder, “Nervous? About what?”

Peter finally turned away from the mirror, burrowing himself in Johnny. “Not sure.”

He gently ran his finger through Peter’s mousey brown locks “About the wedding? I guess it is kinda weird that after today Jen’s gonna be your Step-Niece-in-law especially since she’s older than us.”

Peter only shrugged again, nestling further “don’t know, it feels more… spider sensey. Like everything’s going to change after today but… not in a bad way. Just a jitteriness under my skin but not the usual impending doom. You feel me?”

Johnny pressed a kiss to Peter’s creased brow releasing some of the tension there. “Not really, but I also know better than to doubt your instincts.” Johnny pulled away to look Peter in the eyes. After a moment of judging he smiled “How do you feel about pancakes?”

Peter smiled back, “Pancakes sound devine.”

* * *

They padded into the communal kitchen side by side, Peter’s feet silent on the tile and Johnny’s to less of a degree. Johnny diverged to start digging through the cabinets for the dry ingredients. As he looked, Peter switched on the electric tea kettle. It was a Christmas gift from Johnny to Sue, who after having her kids had switched to periodically drinking tea. He found it particularly amusing that when heating the water inside, it turned a vibrant shade of red. Ostensibly to warn others to not touch the kettle when it's hot but Johnny had on more than one occasion used his powers to doodle into the side of the pot.

“Making tea?” Johnny said confused, as he pulled eggs and milk from the fridge “Think fast.”

“No!,” Peter exclaimed, catching the egg Johnny lobbed at him. “Why do you do that?” He scratched his head absently as he set the egg down to rifle through the drink cupboard. “Maybe tea will do better to settle me? Then coffee at least.” Peter scrunched his face judging the two boxes in his hands, “Isn’t Ginger tea good for that sort of thing?”

“I guess but I don’t think we have any. Mint tea’s good for that too. Ben just got a new box of that Israeli brand that he likes.” Johnny said, and Peter replaced the boxes in his hands. “And I do it because I love you and one day I’m gonna succeed in catching you off guard.”

“You wish.” Peter rifled further till he was reaching the baseboard of the cupboard, checking the names on the boxes as he went. “Ah-hah! Wissotzky Nana Mint Black Tea.” Peter said as he climbed down studying the box. His belly just scratching against the counter riding up his shirt. “Johnny, why was the tea at the very back?”

Johnny separated the eggs sheepishly. “I may have played a prank or five involving tea so it was probably a little hidden, just in case. One of them was a genuine accident though.” Peter lifted his eyebrow. “I had bought this fitness tea thinking it was a great idea. Tasted terrible. No amount of sugar could save it. Anyway, I forgot about it until that time a couple months ago when Sue was trying to get Reed to drink less caffeine, ya know” Peter nodded along as Johnny whipped the egg whites. “So I never noticed that one of the reasons it tasted so awful was it had cayenne pepper in it…”

“And Reed cannot take any form of spice.” Peter smiled, filling his mug with hot water.

“Exactly!” Johnny exclaimed gesturing with the whisk. “So Reed calls me up to the lab to check on something or other, I don’t remember the specifics. Doesn’t matter, never got that far.” Johnny says. “So of course I had to be the one that find him in a puddle smack dab in the floor because he can’t take heat and everyone blames me even though Sue’s the one who brewed the tea! I got him some milk and he was fine obviously but still-” Johnny grumbled.

“Are you still sore about that?”

“Jesus!” Johnny jumped, spilling precious batter onto the counter top. “Franklin, what are you doing up this early?”

Franklin strolled into the kitchen, clambering up to a seat on the island. “It's 6 o'clock. It's not that unreasonable.” They both turned to glance at the oven-clock, both letting out a huh at reading the blaring 6:07 numerals. “Besides I heard Uncle Peter pacing and I figured once it stopped that Uncle Johnny got to you and was going to make something nice.” Peter tugged down his shirt, remembering why he was rubbing a hole in the floor during the night.

“Well you’re not wrong.” Johnny said, lighting the stove and adding butter to the pan. “I’m making souffle pancakes or well, that’s the plan but I’m feeling lazy at this step. I don’t think i’m gonna bother with steaming them. We’ll see how they turn out. And Pete’s not your uncle, not technically.” he continued as he added the batter into the sizzling oil.

“Sure” Clearly he didn't believe them.  Peter watched the bubbles pop around the pancakes, sipping his tea, as Franklin fiddled with the box on the counter. “Mint Black Tea. Odd. How is it?” Franklin asked Peter.

“Not bad. A nice blend of morning and evening. I guess it works best as a noon tea… Do you want some?”

“Yeah!”

Peter paused as he switched on the kettle for the second time. “Kids can have caffeine, can’t they?”

Johnny shrugged, “I mean I wouldn’t give it to Valeria because she’s so small but Franklin’s eight. That’s probably fine. Besides, it's 6 in the morning and it’s tea.”

“And it does say Mint tea on it so plausible deniability.” Franklin chimed in.

“Where did you learn that?” Peter was startled by the large words from such a small mouth.

“Hamilton”

“Ah… Okay.” Peter agreed, pressing the button. The water boiled quickly this time and soon Franklin had a steaming mug in front of him to match Peter. Peter took a seat right next to Franklin overlooking the stove. The both sipped absentmindedly as Johnny toiled on their food. Johnny glanced up once or twice to find them nursing their cups in the same two handed grip.

“You know, when you guys do that I could almost swear he’s your kid and not Reed and Sue’s”

The two turned to look at each other and in sync took twin loud slurps of their tea looking Johnny right in the eyes. Johnny chuckled and shook his head. “You two are going to be the death of me,” he said, plating the pancakes, “Serves up!”

Franklin stabbed into the first pancake and lifted two more onto his plate and then proceeded to drown them in maple syrup. Peter scooped up his and slathered them in butter and left the remaining 3 saucers for Johnny, who sat at the corner next to Peter now that he was done cooking for the moment. “Speaking of kids, when am I going to be getting a baby cousin?” 

Johnny choked on his pancake. Pounding his chest and coughing he said “And what makes you think that's going to happen anytime soon?”

“Isn’t that what people in relationships are supposed to do?’’

Johnny chugged his glass of water. “Generally people get married first, bud.”

Franklin scrunched his face, puzzled. “Okay so why haven’t you guys done that yet? You’ve been together as long as I can remember.” Johnny and Peter shared a long look.

“It’s a little more complicated than that. There would be a lot of fuss about us getting married. Public personas. Politics. News stations up to our ears. It would be a lot, a lot to ask of you.” Johnny explained addressing the last part to Peter. 

Peter squeezed Johnny’s hand then smirked. “None the least of which, you’re not supposed to have two weddings in a year.”

“But people have weddings all the time?” he said immediately, but then thought more on it. The boys could see the cogs turning in Franklin’s head until “She-hulk?”

“Bingo”

“But how is her wedding related to us?”

“You might be too young to remember this but my Aunt May, who raised me, remarried a couple years ago to a man named Jay Jameson. The man She-hulk is marrying is Jay’s grandson.” Peter said, collecting up their dishes. He winced as he got up to bring them to the sink.

Franklin's face resembled a wrinkled peach. “Does that mean Jay Jonah Jameson from TV is your brother?”

“Step-brother,” Peter answered in a way that said he didn’t like the idea either. “but yes.”

“Does that mean he’s going to be at the wedding?”

“Potentially.” Franklin groaned dramatically, and it was Johnny’s turn to prompt for more of an explanation. “Jonah and John are like oil and water these days, especially when it pertains to superheroes.” Peter squeezed the sponge, checking for suds. “ Thanksgiving in Massachusetts was so bad that they started throwing things at each other. I haven't heard of them talking since so I would be supremely surprised if Jonah showed up.”

“That’s sad. I can’t imagine it being like that between my dad and me no matter how much he gets mad when I do something I shouldn’t.” Franklin said, studying the dregs of his tea like it would give him the answers to all their family problems. Johnny ruffled his hair to try and brush the negativity away. It seemed to work a little because Franklin leaned into his uncle’s touch. “Can marriage be something big enough to split families apart?” 

Johnny's heart broke a little at that. “It can be. Sometimes adults let their pride be more important than their love when they’re faced with a choice. To be honest, I don’t understand that choice but it's their choice to make. I’m not sure what else to tell you, bud. Just that things were rough between Jonah and John for a long time. It probably wasn’t John marrying a superhero that broke them apart.”

“Can that ever happen to us?” he asked, teary-eyed.

“No.” Johnny answered firmly. “Me, and your mom, and your dad, and Ben, and Peter even wouldn't allow it. We love each other too much.” Peter's eyes got misty at his proclamation.

Franklin thought long and hard at that. Eventually he came to the conclusion that he wanted to go back to the previous subject. “So the earliest Uncle Johnny and Peter can get married is in a year from now and babies take roughly nine months to be made. Theoretically I could have a baby cousin in 21 months so... November next year-ish.”

“Well-” Peter felt little fingers skitter up his hips, dropping the plate he was cleaning with a splash.

“That is if the belly he’s got going on isn’t a baby!” Ben boomed holding Valeria out so she could tickle his sides. 

“Ha Ha. Very funny Ben. You know that joke gets old after the 50th time you say it.” Johnny answered for Peter, seeing how bright red he had gotten at involving his recent weight gain into the conversation. 

“Alright, alright. Cheap shot” He said setting Valeria down, followed by Sue and Reed stumbling in. “So are we too late for pancakes?”

Johnny exaggeratingly sulked back over to the stove, “Ugh! No, It's a good thing I saved some of the batter.” he said, judging the bowl still left on the counter “Might need to whip up some more though”.

Valeria meanwhile did what she had been doing every time she saw Peter for the past several weeks; immediately begged to play Pokey. Peter had to gently pry her digits off his leg after drying his hands. “No Honey, My stomach is not feeling very well at the moment. Maybe another time?” He said, patting his abdomen for emphasis. 

Valeria stomped her foot, “But there’s not going to _be_ more time!”

“Okay,” Peter relented, “But let me finish the dishes first and it’ll only be for a couple minutes.”

“Yay!” Valeria ran over to the reclining chair to wait whilst Peter put the last plate he had dropped on the drying rack. Valeria slapped the couch where she wanted Peter to sit and Peter obliged. From there she crawled into his lap running her fingers up and down his stomach. Peter fiddled with the remote of the chair to push it back into a more comfortable position as Valeria found the spot she wanted to prod for the day. 

Just after Thanksgiving she developed a fascination of poking and pushing around Peter’s belly. For the longest time, she was insistent that Peter’s belly was able to poke back but the adults didn’t believe her. Peter just let her do what she wanted letting her motion relax him into a nap. In some way it was soothing especially since recently Peter had been having some vicious stomach cramps. Like now, Peter grunted.

Valeria froze, feeling his soft abdomen harden under her fingers. Slap. Slap. Slap.

“Valeria what-” He said, blinking out of his doze.

“It’s what Mommy does when Daddy has something wrong with his tummy.” she said as she continued to whale on his belly.

“Honey-Honey-” he said, catching her hands, “It’s over now. I’m fine. It’s over.” and squeezing them. “It’s okay.” She scrunched her face holding back tears. Peter pulled her over to lay on his shoulder, rubbing her back. “I’m fine.”

‘Everything okay over there?” Sue said strolling over.

“Fine.” Peter responded, rubbing Valeria’s back. “I think we might still be a bit fussy from waking up.”

“Mn, Probably.” she said, draping herself over the top of the couch casually. She studied Peter for a moment focusing on the belly that Valeria had been so enthralled with. “When is your doctor’s appointment again?”

“Monday. Two more days.” he signed, “After the wedding, but not long enough that May is out of town in case it's bad news.” he looked up to fight the tears blooming in his eyes at the prospect of something being horribly wrong.

She reached out and gripped his knee. “We’re here for you.”

“I know, Thank you.” he said, his voice wet. “Gosh this is emotional for first thing in the morning!”

“Well we didn’t want to wake you. Johnny mentioned you had a rough night.”

“Wake me-?” Peter glazed at the oven-clock for the second time. 9:13. Nuts. “Johnny!”

“Yeah?” echoed from somewhere out of the room. Peter jumped up artfully handing Valeria to her mother. 

“Johnny, we need to get going!”

Johnny strolled in half dressed toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. “I thought the wedding is not until 1pm?”

“Yeah! But I said I’d be there early to set up the cameras. Ya know, the camera’s I have to set up unobserved, which you have to be there for an alibi?!” Peter said frantically.

“Okay” he placated, “Give me a moment to get my suit on and we’ll get there in record time.”

“Oh suits! How am I going to get the fancy suit there if I swing there?”

“Don’t worry,” Sue said, “We’ll bring the suits with us when we come and you guys can change there.”

Running out the door, Peter said, “Thanks so much Sue!” 

* * *

Thwip. Wind. Weightless. Freefall. Thwip.

Peter closed his eyes as he let instinct take over. Just breathing in the calm that came from the mindless motions honed over a decade. 

Thwip. Wind. Weightless. Pain. Freefall. Thwip.

Peter regained his rhythm, rocking into the pain. You’re fine. You’re just sore.

Thwip. Wind. Crack. Ozone. That’s not good. 

“Torch, detour!” Spider-man said, veering across the Hell Gate Bridge. Using the apex of his swing he spun above Astoria park, consumed in a sea of lights. In a clearing near the bay there were two caped figures battling it out with streams of plasma. Children screamed as sticky balls collided with trees igniting the leaves around them.

“Spidey, civilians!” Torch ordered, “I’ll see if I can create a crowd barrier.” before rushing to circle the fight. 

Peter proceeded into his own wider circle scooping up kids and parents alike and launching them out of the danger zone. Meanwhile Johnny created a firewall around the fight to consume the plasma balls before they hit the surrounding area. Peter’s com link buzzed in his ear just as he was thinking of approaching.

“It’s Strange vs Loki, haven’t got details on why but I’m thinking Chekhov’s distraction?”

Peter scrambled up a tree to get above the flames. “Sounds good”

Just as Dr. Strange’s circles expanded blinding Loki, Spider Man launched himself from his vantage point and nailed Loki straight in the jaw with his foot. Momentarily stunned, Spidey landed swiftly on the dirt and spun into a kick. Unfortunately, Loki’s steel grip secured his ankle.

“Why Spider-man! Here is something I did not calculate for.” He grinned down like a cat with a particularly fascinating toy.

Johnny coming in with a flaming fist provoked Loki to release his hold, and Peter flipped backward with the momentum. “And facing off against another magic user and potentially more backup supes was one you did?”

They start to enter a dance as they talk Johnny and Peter dancing in and out of range alternating between close range and long range as Loki effortlessly twirls between them like a deadly rendition of the Tango Maurine. For Peter, fights with Loki were usually either the most fun or nerve wracking. Last time was fun. This time, Peter thought, as Loki juggled plasma daggers between his fingers, looks to be nerve wracking.

“It certainly was a higher likelihood than coming to blows with you, though I admit not ideal.” Loki spoke, taking a split second to eloquently shrug, letting his magic form needles twinkling in the air.

“And what makes you say that, Reindeer Games?” Peter joked back, darting out of the way of the projectiles that came shooting for him. There we go, Peter. Keep him talking. Loki took a second to respond, busy dodging several of Johnny’s own fireballs. His eyes dart to Peter’s abdomen. Peter fights the urge to reel with the judgement, suddenly in less of a joking mood.

“To be honest, I thought you would be more rotund by now.”

Peter’s cheeks flare and he struggles to not lose his cool as he goes in for the next blow.

“And what might you mean by that?” Peter bites back. He loses control over his strength and shatters the tree Loki was in front of moments before.

Loki’s feral grin grows “Why it was my spell, of course. A gift for the fun we had last time.” Peter sees red.

“So you’re the one responsible for this!” Kick.

“Perhaps I got the timing wrong.” Dodge.

“I’ve been getting so much shit from Jonah and everyone else!” Punch.

“I always took you for the self-sacrificial type. So I am surprised at this behavior.” Parry. 

“You should cut out red meat. Stop drinking dairy, Spidey. Eat more fucking vegetables and it was all _you_!” Lunge.

“I did not realize this would bother you so much. I thought it would be helpful considering our last conversation.” Swerve.

“WHAT!”

“I am considerably more fond of you than many other superheroes. Thor had been buzzing in my ear about using my magic for beneficial acts during that time. Of course, a spot of mischief has to be involved but-”

“WHAT PART OF MAKING ME PUT ON THIRTY POUNDS IS A FUCKING GIFT??”

Loki paused letting out a soft “ah”. Just enough for Peter’s aggressive uppercut to connect, sending Loki flying backward. Johnny’s cry of “NOW” startled Peter as he gasped over Loki wiped on the pavement. Gold chains surrounded the Jotun, binding his limbs together and creeping up to gag his mouth and other extremities. Peter felt his breath clogging up his mask, the sticky humidity of his emotions making his face itch.

“You alright, Pete?” Johnny whispered into Peter’s ear as he clasped his shoulder. Peter rocked back, chest heaving into Johnny’s. Peter took a long inhale against him rubbing at his clouded lenses. Back to business. Peter turned to address Dr. Strange.

“What the heck was that? What were you two doing having a free for all in the middle of a public park? Do you understand how dangerous that is?” Peter barked, turning his simmering anger to Strange. 

“I am aware. My apologies.” he said carefully, “I had been tracking magical disturbances in the area. Loki caught on sooner than I would have expected. It seems I still have a lot to learn.”

“Yeah no shit sherlock.” Peter paced trying to work off some of the negative energy. “You can figure out what he did to me, right?” Strange turned from where he was triple checking the bonds. “During the fight, he mentioned putting a spell on me last time we met.”

“Theoretically, I’ll need sometime to study the magic that has been woven into you and probably interrogate Loki on his methods of application but there is a good chance I can break the spell-”

“Good, good.” Peter said, running his hands down his face. “How long is that going to take?”

“Depends on the complexity of the spell. Given that it has held for a substantial amount of-”

“It's going to take a while to dismantle. Can you do a quick once over and check that I’m not dying?”

Dr. Strange closed his eyes as he started weaving his hands in a circular pattern. As his fingers spun green light lingered in the air. Just as the magic seemed to gather enough to become opaque Strange opened his eyes. “Well-” he said with a confused look on his face.

“Good, I’m not dying.” Spiderman cut him off. “We need to get to the chapel.” Peter turned to get a running start. “Thank you Dr. Strange. I’ll pop by later in a day or two but we’ve really got to head out. Let me know what Loki says then. Right now I think I’d probably pop his head off. C’mon Flamebrain, I’ll race ya!”

Peter launched his web and swung off into the distance. Johnny lingered, more concerned about what Loki had said.

“You have our phone numbers, right?”

“I have Reed’s just in case.” Strange responded and Johnny turned to chase after Peter “And Johnny,” 

“Yeah?” Johnny paused.

“Keep an eye on him, don’t be afraid to get help.” 

Johnny schooled his face into a grin. “I will. Thanks for the assist. I’ll drag his ass to you tomorrow! Flame on!” and soared into the New York skyline.

* * *

“You alright? You’re doing a cute little pee-pee dance on the pew.”

Peter didn’t look up from the tablet, too busy controlling the cameras. “I’m fine”

“You sure? Cause I would be pretty frazzled over what happened this morning.” Johnny moved to give his knee a comforting pat.

Peter’s hand interceded with a stopping motion. “I’m fine. I can’t focus on that right now.”

“Thirty pounds! Seriously Pete, why didn’t you-” His hand landed anyway.

“Johnny Stop.” Peter whisper-shouted, “in the middle of the freaking wedding is not the time to be having a heart-to-heart!”

The music continued to play in the silence of their conversation. Jen had wanted to mix up the instrumentation a bit by playing her favorite classical song, German Guy’s Italian Number something, and the pace of the piece was getting under Peter’s skin. The quick screeching of the violins bursting through the echoing speakers was making the back pain from the unyielding hardwood light Peter’s nerves on fire. Peter just needs to concentrate on getting the perfect photos of the ceremony and then he could stand up and dance around all he wants. Any other day Peter felt he could have enjoyed this music but not when he needs to concentrate and sit still!

“Shhh! What is with you two?” May whirls on them.

“Sorry Aunt May.” they chorused.

May turned back to watch the proceedings but not before giving them a long look. Peter released a long sigh after May is firmly focused on the celebrated couple. Peter hates that look. That Look is two parts concerned and one part frustrated, god only knows how many times he’s put that frown on her face. 

Johnny ducks his head to catch Peter’s eyes. Peter clenches his jaw and waggles his finger at him before bringing it up to his nose to seal his lips. This conversation is over until after the wedding.

Johnny focuses forward but the scrunch of his eyebrows says he doesn’t agree. Peter brings his gaze back to the tablet hidden in his lap. Tapping each of the cameras and zooming in and out consumes his attention to get the best shots for the wedding album. John trusted Peter to do well with this even if they are step-family now. Peter’s fingers danced as they finally got to vows and rings and he jumped when everyone rose. Peter leapt to his feet at the chorus of clapping just managing to catch John escorting Jen out the chapel doors. The crowd rippled as the music boomed as the doors slammed.

Peter gasped as people started to file out of the building. Bending over the back of the pew, he squeezed his eyes shut to ride out the pain. Gentle hands massaged his arms and he heard the vague murmurs of them addressing the person next to them.

“Sweetie, are you alright?”

Peter signed and shook them off, straightening back up. “I’m fine. These benches aren't exactly easy on one’s back.” he grunted as he stretched his back, “stood up too fast and I guess my back spasmed.”

“Well if you’re sure?” May pursed her lips in a way that said she clearly wasn’t convinced but was letting it go for now.

“I am.” Peter said, feeling much more confident now that he was standing and the pain had passed, “Matchstick, can you grab the cameras for me?”

Johnny, whose furrow had only gotten deeper since the last time Peter looked, relaxed at something to do. “Yeah! And the adhesive-?”

“Should dissolve without any residue, just apply a little heat.”

“Cool” Johnny flamed on to remove the cameras attached to the ceiling as Peter started packing away his equipment.

Aunt May lingered, nervously watching Peter gently place the tablet and stray cables into the case. Peter cocked his head giving her a genuine smile. “Seriously Aunt May, I’ll be fine. Go before you miss your ride to the reception.”

“You know Jay won’t leave without me.” she said, copying Peter.

“I know. Love you. Go!” Peter said, giving her a goodbye hug as she exited out the heavy doors.

* * *

“Camera round 2?” Johnny asked as he floated down from setting up the cameras around the dance hall. A couple people were milling about sampling the appetizers but the bulk had yet to arrive. A long table covered in a white sheet was set up on the stage overlooking the dance floor and two cameras were dedicated to it as it’s where the wedding party will sit for the festivities. The other 4 cameras from the chapel were set observing the disco panelling at each of the four corners. Peter wandered over to the circular table the FF had been set up at just off to the side of the head table.

“Nah, I’ve adjusted the settings. They’ll now take photos every minute.” 

“That’s going to be a lot of photos to go through.” 

“Yeah, but most of them I’ll probably have to throw out anyhow…” Peter said, examining the centerpiece. Johnny sat down, patiently watching him. Peter ran his fingers along the silky petals; the only flowers he was anywhere close to naming were the giant purple daisies. Johnny's gaze was needle sharp into the side of his head. The flower’s bruised. 

“Are we going to talk?”

Peter let the ripped petals drop from his hands. “What’s there to talk about? We won’t know what Loki did until tomorrow. My feelings? I feel foul and used, but that’s the usual feeling when a villain gets the better of you and you play right into their trap. It’s par for the course in our line of work. I’m not dead and I’m not dying, so do better next time. It’s fine.”

Johnny pulled Peter into a half hug, tears glistening in his eyes. “It’s not fine. It’s okay to fall apart a bit. What Loki did was supremely fucked up.”

Peter pressed their foreheads together. “I know.” and stayed like that for a moment taking comfort in each other's warmth. “But! We are at a celebration right now. A celebration of two of our dear friends finding love in one another and I would rather dwell on their love than on my shitty week.”

Whipping his eyes, Johnny said, “Alright.”

The chair screeched as Peter pushed out of his seat. “I believe you owe me a dance.” He said offering his hand. Johnny shined as his hand clasped Peter’s.

* * *

Peter was starting to regret insisting he was fine. At first, he was able to dance the pain away on the disco floor. He was so convincing even to himself that Johnny finally let him out of his sight for 5 freaking minutes. Of course that means he ends up getting lost as soon as he tries to find the bathroom. He could still feel the vibration of the walls to the music but that doesn’t mean much given the sensitivity of his powers.

Peter braced his back against the cheap wallpaper in the endless hallway, sliding down as he panted with the pain. “Oh shit, now look at the pickle you got yourself in, Parker.” he moaned to himself.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Peter tensed and braced himself to roll back onto his feet to keep some of his dignity. 

A nest of curly black hair and a vivid purple dress shirt swung around the corner of the hotel corridor.

“Peter?” the man froze.

“Dr. Banner?” Peter relaxed back onto the carpet.

“Are you okay? I thought you were supposed to be doing the photography?” He said, kneeling down.

“I’m fine.” Peter said hooking his fingers into the loops of the rug. Then Peter shrunk in on himself, pain shooting through his abdomen, “Mnnn, not fine.” he corrected trying to rub the ache away.

Dr. Banner settled himself better on the floor as Peter huffed. “What happened?”

Peter seemed to swing his head in a nervous habit before answering. “Woke up today feeling a bit crummy, well- tried to go to sleep feeling a bit crummy and didn’t succeed in sleeping. So I got up for breakfast and a swing, ran into Loki, found out my weird weight gain recently has been his idea of a freaky mitzvah. I don’t know what he was thinking! All the while, the pain just keeps on getting worse and worse!” Peter panted, cheeks burning from freaking out to a colleague he barely knows while curled on the floor of god knows where. 

“Okay.” Banner took a deep breath. “Do you have any medical restrictions I need to know?”

Peter hummed as he thought. “My healing factor might make going to a hospital difficult and the FF has an anesthetic that will work on me as well as extra blood for surgery. Oh god I hope it doesn’t come to that.” Banner rumananted on his response, privately thinking the same thing.

“Okay, Here’s my plan.” He spoke calm and measured. “We head back to the reception area, find some members of the Fantastic Four, travel with them back to the Baxter Building, and see what we can do at their med-bay. Does that sound like a sound plan to you?”

“Yes!” Peter couldn’t agree fast enough.

* * *

Johnny buzzed frantically around the dance floor. Peter left 20 minutes ago to go to the toilet and hadn’t returned yet. Logicly, Peter probably just got lost in this huge place. The venue was a fancy hotel with all the shiny marble surfaces, glittering gold lights and soft red linings that Johnny had seen a million times over but would never tire of. It would always remind him of the lobby of the Baxter building, such a classic look it would never get old to him. But the downside was everything looked the same, easier to keep clean, endlessly frustrating to navigate. 

Johnny ducked around another table nearly blowing over Jay Jonah Jameson. On instinct he righted Jameson, eyes constantly scanning the perimeter but not registering what was in front of him. Evidently Jameson took offense to that given the way he barked, “Storm, unhand me!”

“What?” Johnny startled, letting go. “Jameson? What are you doing here?”

‘It’s my own son’s wedding, what do you think I’m doing here?” he answered gruffly. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Johnny said, feeling awkward. “It’s just Pete said you and John had a fight and I didn’t see you with the wedding party…”

Jameson’s moustache did a weird wiggly movement. “We did, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him I was here. Just came to drop off the wedding present then I will be on my way.” Johnny nodded rapidly, still searching the perimeter. “What’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“I can’t find Peter.”

“Pete’s a grown man. He’ll be fine for 5 minutes.” 

“You don’t understand! It’s a long story but he’s been in pain all day and he won’t admit it and you don’t know how he walks right into trouble.” One of Jameson’s eye caterpillars arched at that. “Okay you do know. You paid him to walk right into trouble. But this isn’t superhero trouble well-“ Jameson’s second caterpillar arched. “it is a little but that’s not the point. And you’re not getting the story from me right now! Either way I am concerned.” he said punctuating the last part to give himself more control.   
  


“It sounds like you could use some help.”

“You?” Surprised Johnny.

“Nope. Your sister.” He said, pointing at the other Storm coming straight for Johnny and retreated. 

“Hey Johnny! Where’s Pete?” Sue asked and Johnny got this distraught look on his face. “Ookay, Let me stop you right there. Reed and Ben are heading back with the kids. Valeria had an accident and people are starting to get more tipsy than I want the kids to see. I was wondering if you and Pete are planning on staying longer?”

“Um… That sounds like a good idea. It's just that I can’t find Pete anywhere and Dr. Strange said keep an eye on him and-” Sue’s mother-face morphed into her super-face.

“Slow down. Start from the beginning.”

“So you know how we left early to set up the cameras?” He led. “We came across Loki and Dr. Strange going head to head in Astoria Park, he was doing some sort of magical scouting. Anyway, Loki confessed that the paunch the Peter’s got going on was all him and Strange looked him over.” Johnny’s nose whistled as he breathed. “But, We were running late for setting up the chapel so we didn't stay for even the sparknotes on the spell. In hindsight, now we should have. Before I took off, Strange gave a really ominous warning, ya know like he does, that should be banned in superhero interactions, either way now I’m panicking because something  _ is _ wrong and I don’t know what to do.” Johnny pleaded.

Sue blinked, absorbing the information. “Well, I suppose our first step is finding Peter.” Movement caught her eye over Johnny’s shoulder. “And there he is, so let's go see what's going on.”

Johnny raced over to Peter by the entrance. Peter was clinging to Bruce Banner as they hobbled over to the side of the room. As he came closer, Johnny could see Peter’s flush face shake as Bruce gestured towards a chair.

“Pete! What happened?” Johnny said, head swiveling between the two of them.

“I found him near the bathrooms in an awful lot of pain. It might be a good idea to take him to Baxter to get him checked out. He mentioned something about an encounter with Loki and Strange? Unfortunately I don’t have Dr. Strange’s number…”

“I do.” Sue piped in. “I’ll call Stephen and hopefully he’ll meet us there.” she said, whipping out her phone.

“Good,” he said, handing off Peter to Johnny. “Peter is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Cameras” Peter grunted.

“Cameras?” Bruce asked, confused.

“They’re stationed around the dance floor on the stage lamps.” Johnny said, answering for him. “The original plan was to take them down at the end of the night. They're programmed to take photos automatically and you just have to collect them. The adhesive dissolves under heat but they should come unstuck by when?”

“11:30”

“11:30. They should be able to pull off by 11, then.”

“I assume don’t wait until 11:30 else the cameras will fall and break?”

“Yup, you got it. Thanks so much for the help Dr. Banner.” Johnny said, shaking Dr. Banner’s hands.

“No problem, feel better Peter.” Banner said as he rejoined the crowd.

Peter clung to Johnny clenching his teeth as he felt another stab. Johnny’s arms encircled his waist keeping him steady as the squeezing sensation continued. His knees nearly buckled as he felt the pain ebb away.

“So I managed to talk Stephen down from going to a hospital, especially since you said this might be magic related, but he is still going to meet us at home” Sue said, taking her phone off her ear. 

“And everyone else?”

“Ben’s already got the keys to the Fantasticar so I figure we’ll take your convertible?”

Johnny was already bouncing the car keys in his hands.

* * *

The wheels of Johnny’s bright red Aston Martin groaned as it veered around the tight hotel roundabout, clanking against the pavement as Johnny rolled up to where Sue and Peter were waiting at the front. Johnny had popped the locks before his wheels had even stopped spinning. 

Sue noticed the intricate flame decal Johnny had worked on for months had sustained a significant scratch to the side door. She held out the door for Peter to climb in blocking it from both their views. Peter did not need to see how rattled Johnny was and Johnny did not need to be freaking out over more than Peter. Johnny still anxiously nibbled on his nails as he surveyed Peter stepping into the back seat. 

Peter stilled. His hands carefully clenched the sides of the car as he hesitated. They watched as his jaw did a clenching motion as his adam’s apple bobbed almost as if he was hiding tears? or sudden shame?

“Peter, what is it?” Sue asked, worry bubbling in her gut.

Peter’s shoe squeaked against the plastic floor, an oddly wet squelching sound. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed it back. “I peed myself.” He whispered, not meeting their eyes. Johnny’s wide eyes turned to his sister begging for her guidance. 

Sue braced herself and said softly back, “That’s okay. We’ll clean it later. Right now we need to get you help, yeah?”

Peter rabidly nodded as Sue rubbed his back and he climbed in. 

Sue shut the door securely as she sat down. As Johnny drove out to Baxter, Sue eyed Peter. He heaved as he settled, rearing his hips in a way that told her that it was not just his stomach that was hurting. When Strange told her his theory she was not sure what to think. Part of her as a woman and a human was horrified at the idea that Loki had forced onto Peter unknowingly. Another section was ashamed that they had missed the glaringly obvious signs. 

Peter growled as another contraction struck. Far more like a wounded animal, he rocked on the leather clawing at the seat rest. He dug his head into the cushion with much more a primal movement than a conscious decision.

They are coming too fast. 

Sue squeezed his knee much like she had earlier in the day but did not let up until she had his attention. There was so much fear in his eyes. “Peter this is going to sound strange but have got to trust me, okay?”

The lights of New York swam above them casting eerie shadows on their faces. Sue shivered in the crisp breeze.

“...yes.”

“Johnny, how much further do we have?”

“Another 10-15 minutes.” he said, glancing into the rear view mirror. So much fear in his eyes too.

Peter gave his first real scream, though it was really more of a gurgling cry. The seat rest tore as he clenched, soft white stuffing exposed to the world. Peter’s shoulders bounced as he desperately tried to mitigate the pain. A soft whimper left his mouth, as a dribble formed on his nose. Sue's own stomach churned as that drop fell to the floor below.

“Okay Peter?” another squeeze. “I’m going to need you to take off your pants.”

“Whoa- what?!” the car swerved. 

Sue’s shoulder banged into the headrest at the commotion and Peter did not respond at all. The motion of the car had knocked him on his back but actually gave him a better angle to start unbuckling his belt. After a moment to steady herself, Sue helped as Peter fought to extricate himself from his pants. 

Peter halted as another cramp overtook him as he got to his boxers. His hands awkwardly clenched his butt as he was stuck in the middle of disrobing. Sue could see a blood stain along his crotch as he pushed the boxers down to his ankles. They were quickly discarded on the grimy plastic.

“Oh-Okay, We’re doing that.” Johnny chirped mortified from the front, as his boyfriend bared his genitals to his sister in the middle of his open car. He rapidly hammered the roof button to get it to cover them as fast as possible. 

“Now what?” Peter shivered, barely registering the icy wind of mid-January.

Sue coaxed Peter’s thighs wider as the roof extended over them. She nudged his feet to hook over the head rests on either side so he was fully splayed out. “Peter are you feeling the urge to poop?”

“This is getting weirder and weirder”

Peter laughed wetly at Johnny's comment. “A bit. Obviously resisting for now.”

“Okay, push with pain if you feel you need to.” she gulped. “Peter this is going to feel odd but try to stay as relaxed as you can.” 

She ran her fingers along the edge of the large slit below his balls. His butt clenched as she sank her hand in. Luckily she did not have to go far before she hit upon something hard and fuzzy in the pulsing canal. She shook. Her hand coming out covered in filmy mucus. “Johnny how much more?” she asked, trying to keep her voice level.

“Two more blocks!!” Johnny knows her panic voice too well.

Peter howled as he beared down. Fuzzy blonde wisps just peaked to become visible.


	2. FIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've taken too long to finish this so I'm just gonna post this as it is and have Aunt May's scene be a bonus chapter. Also deleting the jewish PP tag as it never came up. :P 
> 
> I was thinking of doing a little one shot series connected to this fic on trial and tribulations of a parenting superhero because i loved a funny story I heard about a new mom who was breastfeeding and mistimed their pumping so they had to pull over and lactate on the road. And I was just like O^O. now I want to torture my characters with extreme embarrassment. 
> 
> I am also planning to write what happens at thanksgiving but I might absorb it into another mpreg fic I was thinking of writing based on Johnny was dead for exactly 16 weeks (at least according to a fic I read, my cheap ass hasn't yet read the comic) and what if Peter was pregnant? But! As I have learned with this experience is I shouldn't post things until I am 99.999% done because as so as my stupid ass hits submit my motivation dies. 
> 
> But hey THIS THE FIRST FIC I'VE EVER FINISHED! and I'm not really happy with how i've ended it but its DONE!

The car skidded as it came into the private driveway. Johnny leaped from the front just as Strange came running from the entrance to the building. Peter caterwauls rang echoing in the concrete tunnel.

“Holy shit” 

Johnny turned pasty as he finally got a good look at the source. Strange pushed passed him as Johnny collapsed to the ground. 

The gravel dug into the thin cloth of his dress pants. His overcoat was not nearly enough to keep the shivers away from the chill January air. The slush glistened under the streetlights soaking his knees. Johnny’s breath fogged in front of him until a shear cry broke his revere.

He stumbled as he rose, shakely approaching the car. Strange was leaning against the car door observing the scene. Peter was nearly passed out at the far window hidden in the shadows, still splayed out. His sister was holding the source. 

A thick green cord snaked around her hand still connected to Peter. The creature was a vicious red with bright purple fists contrasting with the pale yellow of her dress. It’s tiny mews were the only noise in that long moment.

A hand darted from the darkness flailing for the child. The fingertips brushed against the cheek of the babe and they wailed. Sue quickly guided the arms to support them and bring the baby to rest on the still convex curve of Peter’s stomach. Relieved sobs shook beneath the little thing as much bigger hands wrapped around it. 

“We had a baby.” Peter sobbed out.

Johnny perched on the edge of the car in what was probably not urine. “Yup”

“We’re parents.”

“Yup.”

“Franklin got his wish.” Peter joked.

“He did indeed.” Johnny smiled, finally looking Peter in the eyes.

Peter stretched his hand out and Johnny took it immediately. They swung their arms together reveling in the bliss.

“Now what?”

“I wanna call my Aunt May. And then I want… to sleep for a week.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“No it's not.”

“If I may interrupt?” Dr. Strange interceded. “The first thing that is going to happen is Peter has to deliver the placenta.”

“Oh, fun. A superhero’s work is never done.”

* * *

Sue sighed, leaning against the steel of the elevator as she rode down to the common rooms. A fulfilled sort of exhaustion swelled in her chest as the elevator pinged. She strolled right into the kitchen determined to make herself a soothing cup of tea. She jumped as something ceramic clattered on tile as her entrance.

“Suzie?”

Reed, Ben and Bruce were all silently gathered around a pot of tea in the main living room eerily waiting in the half light. Ben’s custom recliner was the only seat facing the entrance so he must have spotted her first spooking Reed in the process but Dr. Banner’s appearance was a mystery. 

“Dr. Banner what are you doing here?” 

“Uh” He stuttered, “I came to hear how Peter was,” and gesturing to the bag at his feet, “and return his cameras.”

“Sue how is Peter?” Reed asked, cleaning up the spilt tea from a mug that had fallen over.

“He is going to be fine.” she smiled “You’re an uncle.”

“What?” the cup slipped.

“Peter was in labor?” 

“Peter was pregnant?!”

Sue laughed at Ben’s flabbergasted reaction, Reed’s complete shock, and, in stark contrast to both, Dr. Banner’s mild perplexment as he chased after the cup. 

“Suzie, you gotta give us more than that!”

“Okay, Okay,” catching her breath to give them the laydown, “Peter had a baby boy and he is recovering upstairs in the med-bay. Johnny is staying up there with him to help take care of the baby as I for one know that moving around after giving birth is not my idea of a good time.” she said, pouring another mug of tea for herself, “Dr. Strange is crashing in the room adjacent just in case something happens during the night. In terms of how, it seems it was a spell by Loki from last time they met months ago, not the meeting today. Other than that, Stephen says it's a complicated spell and that is about all the details I know.” She said, helping Bruce deal with the chipped mug.

The couch creaked ominously as Ben plopped down. “So Pete was pregnant the entire time? And they're both okay?” 

Sue sat down next to where Reed was standing. “The little guy is about 6lbs 5oz and was screaming before Peter had even finished, so strong as an ox I would say if a bit small.”

“Oh, good.” Ben said detached, still thinking of all the horrible ways it could have gone wrong.

“Sue If I may?” Bruce chimed in, “Have you spoken to May Parker yet? I figure Peter would probably want to give her a call considering how close they are.”

“I have.” Sue took another sip of the mint tea. “I told her Peter had a medical issue and it’s been resolved but he wanted to talk to her about it in person. She agreed to come over for brunch early tomorrow.”

“Right! You guys are hosting the post-wedding brunch. Is Peter going to be up for that, after everything?”

Sue shrugged “He will probably stay up in the med-bay but you never know. With his healing factor, he might be right as rain by morning. Either way, it should be fine for hosting the brunch even if it might be a little weird if Peter does not show up to his own family gathering. Right darling?”

She tugged on Reed’s pant’s leg. Reed moved for the first time since hearing the news. Just a slight swivel of the head to look at her. His neck spun at an odd angle that was slightly too far to be human. Paired with his wide eyes it made him look quite owlish. “Uncle?”

Ben facepalmed. “Well that hasn’t changed.”

“One that note,” Bruce stood up, “I bid you all adieu and I will see you all tomorrow. Thank you for having me.” and they went through the customary American goodbyes and retired for the night.

* * *

Clatter. “Ah shit.”

Johnny blearily blinks and winces at the bright light of the lamp on the counter. In the light’s shadow is a figure. It bends down to chase after something cylindrical rolling on the floor. “Gotcha” It whispers as it grasps the object. The figure brings the object up to the light to examine the end. Clear plastic shines under the harsh light. A baby bottle?

“Pete?”

The figure turns to face Johnny, the concentrated light accentuates the dips of Peter’s face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Peter says softly.

“What are you doing up?” he replies rubbing his eyes as he lifts off the couch “You’re the one who is supposed to be resting.”

Peter smiles sheepishly at that. “I couldn't resist.” he answers, leaning over the bed to look at the baby. Their Baby. “Then he started fussing and so I’m trying to make a bottle.”

“I see” Johnny pads closer. “And how is that going for you?”

“Well I dropped the bottle so I have to wash it again.” Peter says as he wanders over to the sink. The soft rush of running water accompanies Johnny as he peers over the bed. The little boy’s head is scrunched like a pruning peach. Every little wrinkle stands stark in the sparsely lit medical bay. His face was already pulled into a dark frown with the peach pit of his chin dominating his face. 

“Have you tried nursing him yet?”

Clatter. Bounce. Splash. Might be too soon. Johnny winces.

“No?” Peter replies with a levity that makes Johnny sigh inwardly relieved. “Sue said that if I am going to have ... milk come in then it can take a couple days. I don’t want him to be hungry while that happens if it even does.” The plastic squeaks in Peter’s hand as he drys the bottle. 

“So you  _ do _ want to breastfeed?”

“Well, science has limitations on how well it can synthetically replicate natural products. There is some evidence suggesting that formula use can increase the likelihood of-”

“But what about you? For you personally?” he said interrupting Peter’s spiral.

Peter took a long moment contemplating his answer. He licked his lips trying to find the right words. “I think … I’m either going to be able to breastfeed or I’m not. If I am capable I might as well just do it. I don’t see why not to. How many men get to say they breastfed their kid?” 

“So you’re  _ fine _ with all this?” Johnny looks at Peter clearly distraught.

Peter brushes up against him. “I think I’m still in shock” he says as he runs his hands over his diminished bump. “Holy crap, I was pregnant.” Johnny watches him with a guilty gleam in his eyes. “It's one thing for an outsider looking in to have not have noticed but it was my own body and I didn’t notice a thing!”

“That’s not your fault. None of us even had pregnancy on our radar when looking for what was causing your weight gain.” Peter smirked. “You know me too well” Johnny says realizing he just answered the question of his own guilt. “Besides it's not like nobody knew. Valeria noticed.”

“You're right. And none of us believed her.”

Johnny ran his fingers over the soft peach fuzz hardly visible in the low light. “It really was staring us right in the face and we just stared right past it.”

Peter’s hand mirrors Johnny's along the baby’s cheek “Yup.”

“We’re parents.”

“Uh huh.”

“Holy crap.”

Peter giggles. Sunrise lights up the room behind him in soft pinks and oranges. The dawn of a new day and their whole world has changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey there's a second note thing! I was planning on doing more but that last scene felt like the end so I was like "The End". I should probably delete the brunch lines but I'm lazy and i guess I have part of a scene there. maybe one day.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Don't be shy to point out typos!


	3. Bonus!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Aunt May scene that I couldn't fit in the main fic but I loved it so much I have to post it.

Sunlight glares off of the millions of glass panes, imposing steel beams support the structure as it towers over her. The bright day makes her feel like a tiny ant about to be burned from the concentrated sun under the magnifying glass of the skyscraper. Sunny days are supposed to be happy days and Sue said Peter was fine. But Peter is never fine; it's merely the degree in which he has survived.

Aunt May strides forward. The automatic door hisses as it brushes her with dry air. Jay follows stutteringly, starstruck at the cynical lobby just as glittery in its own way as the outside. Their shoes clink on the tile as May heads directly for the elevator. Silence hangs in the elevator.

“So… What’s the plan?” He asks, trying to glean something of her internal monologue from her stoic face.

She signs and softens. “I’ll go up and check on Peter. You should take those pastries to the kitchen and see if you can help out.”

The elevator dings as it reaches the first floor of the penthouse. Jay steps out but just before the doors shut he turns to her and says “See you soon, Stormdancer.”

May lets the warmth of Jay’s reassurance fill her. A blush blooms on her cheeks as she reminisces of all the little meanings of that silly nickname. 

They were neighbors when they were kids and did everything together. One September a hurricane hit New York and against her parents instructions she roped Jay into playing outside as the storm raged. She will never forget that night, both of them soaked to the bone, covered in mud, and laughing endlessly. 

Years later, they found each other again after Vietnam, distance and marriage pulled them apart. Their spouses had died. Jay was doing counselling, talking for the first time about what caused his alcoholism. They met again at their high school reunion and it was like those 35 years had not happened but they also had and they had both come away with similar scars. They just... fit. After a long talk about their new lives Jay called her Stormdancer again as she left this time for “keepin moving while hell rages around her.” she chuckled and called him a “Mudbug” for his own habit of burrowing himself in his own brooding. 

Too soon, May arrives at the door of the med-bay. She knocks on the metal door. Shuffling and voices echo and the door creaks open.

“Hello Johnny.”

“May you're here!” Johnny greets her with a cozy hug. He glances quickly back into the room, “I’m gonna leave you guys to talk and hopefully keep my sister from losing a finger. See ya.” and rushes down the corridor.

For a pseudo hospital room the area looks quite lived in. Blankets and plastic packaging are scattered about the surfaces. Several spills have occurred on the counter close to the microwave. Peter is resting on the adjustable bed with a pile of pillows behind him. He is swaddled in blankets and is even wearing a bright red jacket. There’s an odd lump on his chest hidden by the jacket. 

May sits on the edge of the bed squeezing Peter’s free hand. His fluffy mop is a disheveled mess and his face resembles more of a racoon than his deceased father. All in all though, he looks tired but pleased, which is a new one for this situation.

“Hi Aunt May”

“Hello Peter” she parrots back to him. She is sure he can see the stress lines plain as day on her own face as well.

“Sorry, for calling you so late. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just... knew this conversation needed to happen in person.” he says running his thumb in circles over the back of her hand. She doesn’t answer, just waits for him to continue. 

Slowly he lets go and pulls the zipper down on the jacket to reveal what was hidden. Under the jacket Peter’s chest is exposed and his recent weight gain shows as his breasts are considerably plumper than anytime she saw them when he was a teen. Under the jacket one side is exposed more than the other, revealing a wispy head suckling at the nipple. As a bright red fist clenches against milky skin, the blood drains from Aunt May’s face at the implications.

She leaps up, immediately concerned about Peter’s mental state and why he would have kidnapped a child. “Peter where did you get a baby?” 

Peter sensing her spiral, grips her wrist to pull her down. “I was pregnant.” he says looking straight into her eyes to convince her of the reality of the situation.

She scoffs initially but Peter stares on. She takes the invitation and looks into his eyes. She searches his eyes looking for any of that telltale cloudiness but finds just the eerie clarity of a long night and sighs. “One of these days your shenanigans are going to give me a heart attack.” She relaxes onto the bed. He laughs taking comfort in her touch as she settles down once again. “So are you going to tell me a name? A gender?”

He adjusts himself on the pillows so she can have a closer look at her grandchild. “It’s a boy. We are actually having a lot of trouble coming up with a name. My gut idea was Ben but there is still one Ben alive in the house so…”

“My, I never took you to be superstitious.”

“I’m not! It’s just two Bens under one roof is one too many. It would be confusing!” He blushes.

She cups his face, eyes wet, admiring the man he has grown into. “My boychik…” and then her face twists, “a mom!”

“Oh jeez! I’m never gonna live this down.” he says amused with eyes just as wet. For all his embarrassment he seems at peace. 

May pulls herself further on the bed to settle on the pillows to burrow side by side next to her own son. Peter embrasses the half spoon, letting her come around with one arm behind her back to get a better view of the baby. She coos as the baby nibbles more on him, eyes shut and lightly flexing their chubby hand. Their silky skin feels like a squishy cushion under her fingers. “Gosh, He’s adorable.” Peter hums, still as starstruck as May at his tiny baby. After a long bonding moment May watches Peter. “And how are you feeling?” 

Peter matches her gaze, knocking his head back against her arm, “Grody.”

“I imagine.”

Peter takes stock of his body and speaks “My taint is swollen like a melon so I'm sitting on a pack of ice, I’m slowly bleeding so I slept on a doggy pad, and this little guy cries every two hours so my power nap game is being put to the test.” listing his complaints like a yelp review. “In terms of pain, I’m sore but not the worst I’ve had in my life. Definitely felt like I was dying in the moment but most of that was ‘What the fuck am I passing?’ Fallout still pending but not a terrible experience overall. 3 stars.”

“That is not the worst rating I have heard for childbirth.” she chokes out, remembering a buried memory.

“Part of that comes from the fact I was completely clueless. It’s hard to have preconceived notions when you have no idea what’s happening.” 

“That is true.” She nods along surveying him as he nervously babbles. That last comment picking at an old scar.

“God I probably did so many things wrong.” The mood dims as Peter thinks harder about his experience. “Like sushi! You’re not supposed to have sushi!”

“When did you have sushi?” She asks skeptically, spurring him to talk more. Pieces falling into place for her to gather.

“I don’t know! But it was probably a cheap place which is even worse. Or alcohol! I must have drunk at some point.”

“Really? Have you developed a new taste for alcohol in the last 9 months or do you still only like Irish cream? Did you keep any in the refrigerator?” She pokes holes in his mental criticisms as it becomes clear to her it was not that he did not tell her it was he did not know. 

He slowly answers, “No... Reed doesn’t let there be alcohol in the main fridge,” Peter’s mind whirls though any alcohol he had recently, drawing a blank. ”especially not something as kid tasty as Baileys and I forgot to get a bottle during the holidays because I was so busy with our paper finally being published at the lab.”

“Then you only had alcohol at Thanksgiving,” Peter gasps remembering the hot cocoa, “which was hot…”

“So the alcohol evaporated at least a little bit. Wow, I dodged a bullet there.” Peter says relieved. “But the point still stands” his voice cold, “I was in a fight 24 hours ago. One solid shot to the stomach and we would be having a very different conversation.” he says, his eyes lost in the fight.

His mouth flexes as if to say more but the flickering of his eyes tell May he is tied to whatever battle it was that shook him most recently. The gasps start slow, a large heave as his focus is stolen. They escalate and Peter shudders with each lungful until he feels silky hair between his fingertips. The object of his panic nestles deeper into his chest, bored with nubbing on a nipple that gave only a couple drops. His eyes water.

“Oh Peter” Her arms snake around him as he breaks down.

“I would have killed my own child before I even knew they were there.” He says between sobs. Fat tears roll down his cheeks. She holds him kissing his forehead as the events come crashing down on his shoulders. She knows too well that there is nothing to say that could absolve him of these emotions. Only time can wash that guilt away if ever. It will always be a question that they will struggle with. What if they had known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!!! As always don't be shy to comment (especially about typos). Its a bit rough around the edges.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yo I made a fic for the first time in what? 5 years. There is going to be a second chapter don't panic (or perhaps panic slightly because I am notoriously unreliable) I'm just struggling to tie it closed neatly. And yes I still headcannon Peter as Jewish and that's (Probably) going to come up in the part 2. I did plan on there being a scene where Peter is like "Johnny! Johnny what the heck is going on" but that would have ruined the peepee pew line and I wrote this fic for that line.
> 
> The music I was thinking of was Mendelsohn's Italian symphony no.4 ie. the composition that the entirety of Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was based on. I know it's weird but I love that film to bits. It's a great film for its budget of like 4 bucks but I also have nostalgia glasses.


End file.
